More than Make Do and Mend.

I have recently had to remind myself to start not just thinking in the make do and mend terms but something a little more than that. The story begins with a lovely pair of boots bought at the beginning of winter and another pair of lovely walking boots bought for my birthday last year. We know purchases like this are costly and rather than letting them rot away in the mud it is time to actively look after what I have.

Yes our boots are a sorry state but I think the make do and mend have missed an opportunity of 'cherish what you already own' by looking after it. I spent Sunday with Callum dubbing our boots.

For me it bought back happy childhood memories of cleaning our school shoes on a a Sunday evening ( Callum found this very hard to believe that people really did that kind of thing!) I also though that it bought a sense of achievement to Callum and he was really proud of his shinny boots.

So for a sense of pride, knowledge that your belongings will last longer and I promise you will feel the love, start to cherish and look after your belongings.

2012 - Welcome.

I like to start the New Year with a plan, a theme, or something to work towards for  the year coming. I wouldn't really call it a resolution rather than positive thinking .
2009- we had Arthur our youngest son.
2010 - we got married, 1940s style!
2011 - we took more weekend breaks and holidays of sorts/ living life, taking adventure.

Unfortunately I have been busy, too busy to really give the proper time a yearly theme needs. On New Years eve I had a terrible sense that I simply wasn't ready for 2012!

Well that is the answer in it's self. I have been too busy. Although we have had a wonderful year it has had struggling moments with Mr PBs work and the thought process of running my own child minding business. The there's the usual, kids, dogs , life! I have been spreading myself too thinly and after a really good heart to heart on New Years Eve, I woke with a new sense of how things could be this year.

The answer is simple although we will have to live on less money, yet again. But I have always thought that when I have been at mt poorest I have been my happiest and most creative! So I am cutting my working hours to two days a week. I can not exclaim the sense of relief I feel to be able to keep up with the house work, the kids the garden, time to think!! This will be more helpful than ever as Mr PB will be working away during the week for the next three months.

By doing this I am also having more time to work at cycling. I have always wanted to reduce the amount of car use. So this month I will be getting a new seat for Arthur, and a basket for the front of my bike and start on getting myself fit. This is no mean feat! In Devon there are hills every where and I wouldn't consider myself fit, BUT I will be.

So with a new sense of freedom 2012 is already looking positive and challenging in a good way.

So any plans for yourselves, how do you find the yearly transition?

Changing of seasons

I don't know about you but I personally find that with a change of a season comes a time for some reflection and a time for planning. In my reflection time recently I have found that I am dealing with really big issues like who am I and where do I fit within my communities, also what do I stand for in the way I parent?? A bit scary hey, do you dare read on??................

To put it into a blogging sense I have been asking myself why do I do this? I'm not always sure I have anything of worth to pass on, but I know I enjoy this time to communicate and express myself. So although I may not be tackling huge global issues or putting down a heavy political footprint I think it's ok just to share our day to day. Really what I love most is just that, those of you that read my blog and all those other blogs that I read are massively inspirational just on the way you live your day to day. And of course I'm aware of the wider picture but I am now understanding that I am living in a more conscious or awakened state.
Well that leads me nicely to the more personal me......................

I have been pondering on the differences of my parenting, what I mean is my choices and skills are now very different from how I parented Luke 17 years ago to how I now parent Arthur who is 2. I am the same person and I wanted the same things for my children but how I live now has changed. Yes I'm alot older, wise, confidant, I know how to make things happen. I think that there has been an awakening of my conscious mind, I feel slightly mournful about this as I would like to provide my older children with the connected ness that I now feel. Yet again I would like to celebrate my forever changing journey, my older children have had a lovely upbringing with a spiritual essence but being more awaken I feel this has a real sense of purpose now, so watch this space.....................

What that really means is I'm ready to accept and move on to the new chapter, and at the moment the new chapter is autumn. I have been planning lots of lovely thing to do  but it started with enjoying some local sences in the park today!

Wonderful hey? Well thank you for baring with me, when I have moments of rambling. One last thing I would like to share that I am very excited about is that tomorrow I start my Joy de Berke mother and baby Steiner course, and that in time I will share more of.

Thank you, have a lovely weekend!

My Growing Family

Lets make this clear from the beginning, no I am not expecting another baby!! I think four boys is enough for me.
What I do mean by growing family is that I have noticed during the summer that my lovely boys are moving on. You all know the scene, you catch up with friends through the summer and start to list the changes of the year and plans that each of your children will be partaking in. Well it was at this moment that I realised that as a family we are growing, that we are always changing, and as much as I want to celebrate this I do feel a little sad too.
The run down goes a bit like this:
Luke having just turned 17, yes 17!!! Luke will be starting his second year at college this week in Music technology. He has spend summers at festivals and DJing at friends party's. Wow he is so independent and has a love of music that just keeps him enthused and working hard. I am also really happy for him as he has just got himself a job after looking for many months.
Liam just never stops growing, now 15 he is at least a head taller than me and I'm not that short, and he takes a size 10 shoes, canoes!!! Liam is now heading into his last year of school, I feel for him in this pressured year. I want him to to still enjoy his friends and not to feel bogged down with making life decisions. Although in 6 months time we will have to think if he wants to go to college or stay on at 6th form?
Callum is now 12 and very much staring his journey in to teenager land. He is so very quick witted and makes us all laugh so much. I am still proud to see that he has amazing empathy. He is now settled into secondary school and has a lovely group of friends.
Arthur, no longer the tiny baby but a bouncing boy! I love his long arms and legs and the energy that just makes him want to walk the dog morning, noon and night. Arthur is such a cuddly little boy and can be so gentle when the mood takes but he certainly has a glint in his eye, and who wouldn't having three older brother to copy!
I am so very proud of my children and I do enjoy watching them grow, and grow they have. I can not believe how fast it seems to happen!

First week of the summer holidays.

After an amazing birthday party for Liam now 15 we were left a little jaded after tidying the village hall and debris of 30 odd teenagers. The sense of achievement was great but made better I think by the fact that it was the first weekend of the summer holidays and we all needed a party.
I am a stay at home mum, but I stay at home with other people children too, yes I'm a childminder. I love it but I am really excited to spend some time with just my family!
So is it just me, do I find it hard to adjust or am I someone that just can't stop writing lists and ticking those actions off as if my life depended on it? Well yes I am but I think I am torn in many directions. My mind is saying yay its the holidays, do fun stuff and experience life. One of my main aims has to live more in the now, particularly in British summer time. I did manage this I spent two great days on Dartmoor with Arthur, the weather was perfect and I did feel free, I really find it easier to be outside with children. Climbing, pic-nic and sheep spotting with the most amazing views made those lists of things to do just disappear. I wish you could see better but photo's never show off the real thing.

So fun time was had, and it does feel like summer here, really warm! Any time I have been at home has just been filled with things to do, I I my own worst enemy, I create more than I need to. Mr PB has been away working this week and we are also getting everything together to go on holiday to Wales. By the end of this week I will need a holiday! Although I have been shopping and washing and lots of paperwork stuff has been done I did sneak a lovely walk along Tiverton canal where the it was peaceful and the nature was brimming.

So I feel I have been learning about myself this week, little ups and downs, learning to let go of stuff that isn't important (like putting new stuff on Etsy - it's  supposed to be fun!) I find I push myself harder when Mr PB is not here, but my older children do help out more. Maybe I have had a different routine that actually has allowed myself to think differently than the normal term time routine. I think I think to much!!

Letting Go

There are many parenting blogs and a lot of them relate to babes in arms. As much as I love to read about this time in your lives (as it doesn’t feel that long ago my youngest son is now two.) I thought I would like to share some of my feelings towards my eldest son Luke.

Luke will be seventeen in a few weeks time and in many ways I feel I am well practiced at letting go, or at least I’ve made a few steps in the right direction.

One of the biggest steps since starting school, sleeping over at friends or staying with a relative for a few days was that Luke decided he wanted to live with his father full time. Although many people said this must have been really hard for me the truth is, that it wasn’t. Luke would only live a few miles away and I knew that it was what he truly wanted, he had always been so very close to his father and he had found our parting a few years previously difficult. I also knew that he was going where he would be loved and cared for and he could always come home whenever he wanted.

Another step was when Luke started sleeping out. Amongst his friends here in Devon it is popular to ‘camp’ out or party! Again this step felt natural, I was confidant in Luke’s ability to camp sensibly and respect the area in which he used. He had been a member of Woodcraft Folk for many years. Yes there are the dark thoughts of them drinking or dabbling in substances, but again I really believe this is apart of growing up. As long as you are open, give plenty of up to date information and make it clear that it’s OK to contact you and talk about it that hopefully the darkness of this area will not take over.

‘So what part of letting go worries you?’ I hear you ask. Well even though Luke is growing up, he has left school and attends a local college, now he needs a job! When I was feeling strong and positive and I was able to give him an opportunity that would be so very exciting. A chap I knew ran market stalls at the festivals and he needed staff. Luke was to join a team and be paid for his trouble; Luke was overjoyed his first working destination is to be Glastonbury!!

The biggest music festival in the UK, one of the most famous festivals in the world, tickets sell out in hours, the site is as big as a local city, and Luke is on his way.

The good points to this experience, is that it is an amazing experience for a young man who loves music.

He thinks his mum is cool for organising it.

He will be earning money to save for the Apple Mac he needs for his music course.

The likelihood is that he will be able to do this summer work for years to come.

Festivals are wonderful places to be (Luke is no stranger to this environment).

But on the flip is a mother finding hard to let go.

If you have been to festivals, you will know there are always ‘casualties’ and I would hate for Luke to be one of those, having over done it feeling lost and alone.

Working away from your home environment can be hard.

What if rains all the time (this is a high possibility), my mothering instincts to keep him warm, dry and fed are all left at home.

Festivals are where people feel free to act in the extreme, I hope he cope with this on his own.

I hope his boss will look after home well.

Although I am immensely proud of my son and have actively encouraged him to do this to me this is the hardest part of letting go I have experienced yet.

So this time next week Luke will be at Glastonbury festival. I wish him luck and love, I hope he works hard has fun but comes home safe and with stories of adventure.